Well, aren’t I lame. Another post in the same day.
I had a panic attack (or something that resembled it, at least) this morning in the shower. Whatever they are, they’re getting worse. Which is kind of funny, because I went to the ER one night (I don’t have an actual doctor up here yet, since I moved) and the doctor told me that he thought I could control the attacks and that I’d be fine or whatever. Oh well.
But yeah. I guess I’m getting ahead of myself.
Last night I had one just… hit me, pretty much out of no where. I mean, before it happened I was just lying in bed, joking around with my boyfriend. Of course, as per usual, I had some thoughts swirling around in my head that might make a person stressed out. But still, it still felt like it came out of no where for no purpose. And it SUCKED.
Usually when I’d have them, they’d only last for a couple of minutes tops, but this one seemed to drag on and on forever. My chest felt more compressed than usual, and I actually wasn’t able to breathe for a bit, like I felt like I was choking and couldn’t catch a breath.
Most of the same thing happened this morning in the shower. I’m actually quite glad that I had let my boyfriend convince me to take a shower with him (sidenote: what is it with guys and wanting company in the shower, anyway? ), because if I hadn’t then I might have slipped and smacked my head on something. That would have been lovely, wouldn’t it? But when I was in the shower, I just… couldn’t breath. I kept trying and trying to catch my breath and I couldn’t. I wasn’t even hyperventilating or whatever, I just… couldn’t breath. It felt like there was too much pressure on my chest. It only lasted like 30 seconds or so. Maybe a minute. It felt like so much longer, but yeah. It sucked.
Of course, if I went to the hospital in that case, they’d have to do something about this, and not just tell me that there’s nothing really wrong that I can’t fix myself. I mean, I’m sure that there are things I can do to fix all of this junk going on, but it would have been nice to have been handed a manual or something, because these attacks are getting on my nerves.
Unless it’s not a panic attack at all, and I’m really just slowly dying or something. Who knows right?
Bleh, I hate doctors, anyway.
